My whole life I dreamed of the day I would be pregnant. I think that until recently, women weren’t very open with their pregnancy experiences. Because of that, I didn’t have much to rely on other than what I saw in movies and on TV. Now that I’m at the stage where my friends and sister in laws are having babies, I have been able to gather more information on the subject. I really didn’t put any thought into the people who said they got sick because that wouldn’t happen to me. I grew up thinking you were the home for that baby for almost a year and then you’re back to normal. WRONG.
About six weeks into finding out I was pregnant I had a rude awakening as to what I thought the next 9 months would entail. I became very nauseous. To say it went on for a few hours a day would be lying. The nausea lingered from the minute I woke up and would usually subside around dinner time. It was hard because every single day I was on my couch with the urge to vomit and was extremely tired which lead me to feel worthless. I remember I would tell John everyday how terrible it was and he had difficulty realizing how I was feeling until I gave him an analogy that he could understand. I told him, “imagine waking up every day feeling hungover. The kind of hangover where you so desperately want to throw up but cannot. That is how I feel. 24/7.” After that, he was sensitive to the fact that I would live most of my first trimester on the the couch and that he would have to pick up a little of the slack when it comes to every day chores. I lived on crackers and ginger ale. The foods that I loved, I all of a sudden hated. I hated to look at it and I absolutely hated to smell them. My parents came up one weekend early on in my pregnancy and I remember telling my mom that I couldn’t understand why people have children if you feel like this. I felt so guilty for saying that out loud, but I was so sick (pun intended) of being ill. My mom laughed at me and told me not to worry. She told me that this phase will pass and when the baby is born you will forget about it. Well mom, I’m here to say that so far I haven’t forgotten but I do know it will be worth it.
** Picture to the right is John and I at a wedding in October where I had my first experience pretending to be drinking all night because it was too early to tell friends. It helps when you have a husband willing to drink vodka waters all night so that it looks like I was doing the same. Teamwork makes the dreamwork.
We had our first ultrasound at 10 weeks. I had so many thoughts going through my head! We have multiples in our family so I kept thinking they would show us the ultrasound and there would be two embryos! Then the little voice in your head goes to dark places like ‘what if there isn’t a baby at all?’ I prepared myself for the worst but hoped for the best. We go to a rotating OB/GYN practice and the first doctor we had was an older male. Let me tell ya, this guy had some spunk. John is talking to the doctor and trying to impress him with his knowledge of all things health and science. At one point John was rattling off the taxonomic rank to him-kingdom, phylum, class….etc. Obviously he was very nervous if he was bringing up taxonomic rank at an OB appointment. Either way, it was hilarious and took my mind off of the impending ultrasound.
The doctor proceeded with his examination where I was told I have “great hip bones.” Gee, thanks Doc. I hope that comes in handy when it comes time to deliver! He continued on with the examination and moved up towards the breasts. As he was checking for lumps, he asked if I planned on breastfeeding. I replied by telling him that I wanted to try. And what he told me next still makes me laugh. He looked at me then at John and says, “good! You know that that was what they are intended for. Not just to lure in John.” I had no words. This doctor was character and we appreciated the humor. Unfortunately, he retired in December so we weren’t able to experience anymore of his comedy act.
As I am nearing the end of the second trimester, I have to say that it was been 95 percent better than how I felt in the first. I think there is more anxiety that comes along with pregnancy because there are so many unknowns. It has been a little easier now that the kicking has begun. I take it as her way of saying, “yo mom! I’m alright in here. See you soon!” Now we are on to the fun stuff like the registry, nursery and planning a baby shower. Stay tuned for more on that in the next couple of blogs.
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