“Must. Eat. A. Healthy. Balanced. Diet. Oh look! Ice cream!” These thoughts and more..

With the final month of this pregnancy in the forefront, I thought I would share some of my thoughts that have gone through my head throughout this pregnancy.

  1.  Family and friends don’t greet me with eye contact anymore; they go straight to looking at the bump.
  2. No, it is still not acceptable to touch my bump without asking.  Most of the time she isn’t kicking while I’m standing any way.
  3. On the other hand, when I’m laying down, “is this baby practicing to be an MMA fighter?”
  4. With all of that movement going on there, is there any way I can transfer that calorie burn to myself? Surely she doesn’t need to burn that many calories so just take one for the team and help your mom out! šŸ˜‰
  5. I always laughed when moms would tell me they pee their pants when they sneeze.  I’m not laughing anymore….
  6. I dreamed of bigger boobs my whole life.  Now I could take my size back for awhile.  Who knew you had to LIFT up your breasts to wash them when they grow this much.  Crazy…
  7. “Was that a contraction? Nope, just gas.   2 hours later: okay, that was definitely a contraction.  Nope, gas again.”
  8. “Must. Eat. A. Healthy. Balanced. Diet….oh hey freezer, what do you have for me today? Oh, more ice cream you say?” **eats half the pint in one sitting**
  9. My husband is convinced our daughter will come out saying “DADA.”  And so it begins…
  10. I laugh way too much at John’s dad jokes.
  11. OB nurses are God’s gift to earth.  They are a different breed and I want to hug every single one of them.
  12. “Okay, that was FOR SURE a contraction.  Jokes on you, Darcy! It is gas.  Get ahold of yourself.”
  13. “What would I have to do to convince John to shave my legs?”
  14. “Hey OB nurses and doctors: do you know how freaking hard it is to try and pee in a cup when you cannot see down there anymore?!”
  15. Coming from someone who always held extra weight in my gut, it sure does feel good to not have to suck it in anymore.
  16. “Whats the countdown until I can have a glass of wine?”
  17. Nobody prepares you for the first time you wake up and you find that your boob has leaked.  Human bodies are amazing.
  18. “Woah, woah, woah…I have to wear that long of a pad after giving birth? Are there any other options?  Don’t even get me started on the granny panties.  Am I 25 or 85?!”
  19. “Did someone say ice cream?”
  20. “What’s the return policy on babies that cry too much?”  Just kidding people.  There’s no way I’m letting that baby go.
  21. Do all husbands want their vitals and weight checked as much as mine during OB appointments?
  22. Just like with wedding planning, you have a budget set in your head for baby items and you go over that budget in no time.
  23. There’s nothing grandparents love more than naming your unborn baby every time you talk to them šŸ™‚
  24. “How do I keep this lush hair around after I give birth?”
  25. Then you hit a moment in your pregnancy (towards the end for me) when you realize you are responsible for another human for at least the next 18 years and you go back and forth between panic and excitement but ultimately you know you’re gonna nail it.

Thanks for reading TWO PINK LINES!

Darcy

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