When John and I moved to the burbs in September, I was researching ways to get involved in the community as a means to make friends and to be involved in a community. I realized it does my psyche some good when I get out and am social with others. I stumbled across this group that was a newcomer’s club which is an all women’s club that hosts events at different member’s houses or in the area. I immediately joined the club back in August of 2016 with hopes of attending a Newcomer’s welcome social they hold soon after moving. Well, as life would have it, we found out we were pregnant in September and as I have mentioned before, those first 3 1/2 months were pretty brutal with nausea and lots of sleep. Needless to say, I kept putting off going to a social every month because I was either sick or too anxious to meet new people (my anxiety was very high during pregnancy).
Fast forward to May of this year. I was finally getting in to a routine with a newborn and very antsy to get out of the house. It had been a long 8 months of basically being confined to our house between being sick or high blood pressure issues. I noticed on Facebook that the ladies were holding one last Newcomer’s social in June for the season (most of the events pick up in the fall and the ladies take the summer off). I quickly emailed the welcoming committee and told them I would attend.
Last week was when the meeting took place at a lovely house about a mile away from ours. That whole day leading up to it I was freaked. It was almost like going out on a date for the first time. Let’s face it, all women dress to impress other women and I for one wanted to “fit in,” but I wasn’t exactly sure what that looked like out here. . I looked at myself and the mirror before leaving and I thought “yep, this is a total mom outfit.” Lots of questions were running through my mind…
- Would these ladies like me?
- What if they think my outfit makes me look like I’m 80?
- Will they cherish a glass of wine as much as I do?
- What if I start rambling like I usually do if I’m nervous?
- Am I going to fit in to their mold?
- Would they be too judgmental?
I arrived at 7:30 pm to the woman’s house. Locked my car and walked up with my purse in tow. Which, I might add, was super weird. I haven’t used my purse in two months now because well, diaper bags that’s why! Now, I would like to think I have pretty good manners. Well, those seemed to fly right out they window being the nervous wreck that I was. Instead of knocking or ringing the doorbell like a regular human being, I thought it was appropriate in my nervous mind to just let myself in….good start, Darcy. Good start. Thankfully, the woman who owned the house didn’t seem to mind and I tried not to dwell on the fact that I just barged into a strangers home like I owned the place.
The social was made up of 10 people, 5 of which were board members to the club. There were options for water, white or red wine and champagne. Nervous Nelly over here is the only one who choses RED wine while all the other ladies chose white. This wouldn’t be a huge deal except that I am the biggest bowl in a china shop (my husband will be the first one to tell you this). Not to mention, I had a white shirt on AND I didn’t even think about the fact that I would be the only one with purple stained teeth by the end of the night. So, for the next hour and a half I was the most careful I’ve ever been. Most of the that time I held on with two hands to that cup like my life depended on it.
We all began to mingle before formally sitting down to introduce ourselves. Everyone was very friendly and I for one was feeling pretty comfortable (maybe that was because of the wine). I began to speak to this mother of 2 who was originally from South Africa. She had the BEST accent and pretty much sounded Australian. Now, I love a good accent and a couple of times I thought I might slip and try to do my best impression for her or even just slip into the Austrailian accent without even meaning to. Believe me, it happens to me more than you think. I get close to the southern states (or even mention them in conversation) and all of a sudden I’m a southern belle talking like I’ve lived there my whole life. I literally just read that last sentence in my southern twang. Any way, I kept telling myself to keep it together and keep my accent to myself for now.
We made our way to the formal living room and took a seat in a circle. The President began the introductions by saying that she had been a member for 3 years and her best advice was that you will get out of this group whatever you put into it. The rest of the ladies circled around and told their stories and why they moved to the suburbs while I patiently awaited for my turn. I was last in line. The only thing running through my head at this point was not to talk too much with my hands and spill my wine on her what appeared to be expensive rug. I told my story on why we moved here and how excited I was to be apart of the group and they could not have been more inviting. They told me there are play dates with people in the club based on ages of the the children and there is a group that gets together with newborns. They also offer events for their husbands which will be great for John.
I am looking forward to getting involved in the community and meeting some new friends. They said you are able to make whatever kind of club you want within the club itself (cooking club, book club, tennis club) and I of course offered up my karaoke machine if people were interested in that. I think it’s safe to say that was a good idea to offer that up. The ladies loved the idea. I even joked that Ellie could be sleeping upstairs with her sound proof headphones and wouldn’t even know what was going on.
I guess the moral of the story is to put yourself out there and you will be surprised how inviting and welcoming people can be. It’s no fun to be in a new town and feel like you don’t have social support so take that first leap and you may surprise yourself.
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